Living with a Chronic Condition

Developing a chronic condition can take us into a world of clinical interventions, intrusive tests, and lifelong medical treatment.   Once diagnosed, we must learn to live with an outcome that may change our lives forever.
 
Getting a Diagnosis
The journey to a diagnosis can be lengthy and full of false twists and turns as the cause of our symptoms is identified. We can feel like we are losing control and being forced to accept the wisdom of others.  There may be blind alleys along the way and we may move between hope and despair as possibly life limiting conditions are considered and ruled out.
 
Identifying the cause of our problem can bring temporary relief until we are told the condition cannot be cured and the best outcome possible is to manage the symptoms.
 
Trauma and Bereavement
Being diagnosed with a chronic condition can be traumatic. It can feel like a random experience that turns our life upside down and makes us fearful for the future. We may feel guilty for what has happened to us and even ashamed of how we have changed.  Acknowledging this trauma is an important step in consigning this part of our experience to the past.
 
Much may have been lost. Like any bereavement we may need to take time to mourn the loss of the life we thought we would have before we can accept the life that will be.
 
Embracing the Future
It is natural to go through a period of denial then anger. Trying to carry on as if nothing has happened will keep us in this place.  Movement comes when we stop resisting and let go of our expectations. Then we can start to accept our situation.
 
By learning about our condition we can understand the best way to manage it.  We can also begin to appreciate how we can work around any limitations to make a new life that can be as fulfilling as before.
 
It does not Define Us
While it may cast a long shadow, our condition remains one aspect of who we are.  Believing we are much more than this will enable us to replace all that we may have lost with something new.
 
It is important to let go of any blame for what has happened. Whether it is something that we or others have brought about, focussing on who might be responsible keeps us in the past and prevents us from moving forwards.
 
Asking for Help
Many of us resist acknowledging we need help and struggle to ask for it.  Rather than carry on alone, we can actively seek out all of the support that we need. This might include self-help groups and other online forums.  It is better to explain to those around us exactly what we need from them rather than expecting them to know. Others may try to fix things when what we really want is for them to witness what we are going through. Helping them to understand this avoids conflict and ensures we get what we need when we need it.
 
Celebrate the Good Days
By embracing our new life we are also accepting that we have entered a different landscape.   Some of what we valued before may now be lost but while the context has changed we have not.  We may have had to reset the bar yet there will still be highs and lows. Just as before, the good days are something to celebrate.
 
Finding a New Normal
When our lives change dramatically we can find ourselves off balance and have to work hard to regain our equilibrium. We need to establish a new normal which reflects the way things are rather than how they were or how we might wish them to be.
 
© 2020 Michael Golding