About Counselling

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,
then I can change" - Carl Rogers

What is Counselling?

Primarily counselling is a relationship between people. The counsellor creates and maintains an environment that gives people a feeling of security so that they are able to talk about the aspects of their life that are troubling them. This sense of security is not about the location and the furnishings. It is about the creation of trust between people so that they feel able to talk openly about their thoughts and feelings, their experiences, hopes and dreams, safe in the knowledge that they will be listened to with compassion and respect.

However, counselling is much more than just listening. The counsellor is trained to support people in unravelling the many threads of feelings and experiences that may have become tangled up over time. Through this process, people are able to free themselves from many of their negative thoughts and emotions, change negative or unhelpful behaviours and regain the freedom to respond more fully to life as it happens.

Who is it for?

Counselling is for anyone who is experiencing difficulties in managing their emotional lives. This may be a new experience, possibly brought about by a recent event, or something that has been happening for a number of years. Counselling is available for children, young people, individual adults and couples.

Couples counselling is for any two people in a relationship. That relationship may be as a heterosexual or same-sex couple or it may be a family relationship such as a brother and sister or mother and daughter. Relationship counselling can also be helpful to people at work such as business partners and other work colleagues. Whatever the circumstances, counselling can help people to communicate their feelings, wants and desires so that they can be better understood by the other person.

How does it Work?

People are encouraged to talk about their experiences, both past and present, mainly in terms of their thoughts and emotions and their interactions with the people around them. The starting point for many people is experiencing negative thoughts and feelings that are preventing them from fully enjoying their lives.

This could be the result of a single event such as a bereavement or a significant change in their circumstances, perhaps through job loss or the breaking down of a relationship. Alternatively, people experience feelings such as sadness or anxiety that can temporarily overwhelm them so that they are unable to function as they would wish to.

For some people the past and present have become so intertwined that negative patterns keep being repeated and they feel unable to move forward and fully embrace new experiences.

The counsellor can support people in identifying and then unpicking the ties that are binding them to repeating negative patterns from the past that produce unhelpful attitudes and behaviours in the present. By linking origins to effects, people are encouraged to find ways to manage these connections more effectively or, in some cases, to sever them altogether.

With this greater understanding comes a realisation of the possibility of making changes and people are encouraged to safely explore different future pathways. In this way we can become better equipped to make the choices that will lead to greater fulfillment and more positive outcomes.

Orientation

There are various styles of counselling which are often referred to as different orientations, as they are based on the theories of leading practitioners. Most counselling training is rooted in humanistic principles which are then over-laid with particular skills that may be relevant to certain types of therapeutic intervention. For example, short-term therapy may use more directive interventions than that provided over a longer time frame. This can be explored at the initial meeting to ensure that there is a good match between the client's needs and the counsellor's way of working.

Its the Relationship That Counts

There has been a lot of research on the impact of counselling on people's wellbeing which has looked at the many different methods used by therapists measured against a range of criteria. A common theme across the research is that a high indicator of any kind of successful outcome is the quality of the relationship that exists between the client and the counsellor. Where there is a high degree of trust and the client feels accepted rather than judged, there is an opportunity to shine a light on aspects of our lives creating a fresh understanding that can lead to lasting changes.

What kind of issues?

Counselling tends to deal with experiences in the present that are impacting on our lives in a negative way. Many of the diverse range of negative thoughts and feelings that continue to cause us difficulties have common roots in earlier events in our lives and the way we continue to view them. By taking time to revisit these experiences in a safe and supportive environment, we can begin to manage our feelings more effectively and start to choose how we respond to the world around us. Any concerns about the ability of the counsellor to work with particular issues can be discussed at the introductory session.

Supervision

Focus for the Sessions

Counselling or Psychotherapy?

Professional counsellors are required by their regulatory bodies to have regular supervision. This involves meeting with
a more experienced therapist to discuss the work they are undertaking with clients. The objectives are to make sure that the counsellor is working within their knowledge and abilities. and to support them in any difficulties they may be experiencing. Throughout this process the identity of the client is never usually revealed and no information is given that could identify them so that client confidentiality is always maintained .

Counsellors may be able to identify patterns and make links between thoughts and feelings that are not always apparent to us as we experience them. During the course of the therapy the focus of the sessions may vary between an exploration of background events and experiences and detailed examination of specific incidents. However, the choice of what is talked about remains firmly with the client.

In recent years there have been many discussions about the differences. Historically psychotherapy training tended to be rooted in the psychoanalytic teachings of Freud, Adler and Jung. While counsellors were exposed to their methods, greater emphasis was placed on the humanistic approaches of Rogers, Ellis and Perls. Today there are probably more similarities than differences, though perhaps counsellors tend to focus more on what is happening for the client in the present.